Reasons Twin Falls Idaho Is The Worst Place In The World To Live

I know I know, but it is time that we let these secrets out. No one should be moving here without knowing everything that it entails. We don't want these people to be super surprised when they get here, might as well let everyone know before they head our way so they can make an educated decision.

1
Man eating fish
Yes, there is no doubt that the Snake River, Dierke's, all the lakes around us are absolutely beautiful. That is, until you encounter those man eating fish. Imagine piranhas only 50 times bigger, uglier and faster. They will sneak up behind you in the water before you know what hit you.
2
We are over run with aliens and Big Foot
There is a reason that Idahoans have a lot of paranormal encounters, they live among us. You never know if you are with a person or an alien in a clever disguise. And if you decide you want to go camping in our wonderfully beautiful forest, you are going to encounter a family of Big Foot that want to steal your food and leave you hungry.
3
It Stinks
Everyone THINKS that the smells in the area are dairys, the factories or a mystery. But, we really know what they are, it is the durian fruits (the smelliest fruit in the world) growing right outside our city. It is so foul smelling it is actually illegal in some places. Yea, we grow them and just cut them open for the smell. We do what we want.
4
There is nothing to do
We definitely have nothing to do here. There is no fun places for families like Jump Time, Putters or Skate Land. There is nothing for the outdoor enthusiast either, no hiking areas, fishing, camping or anything. It's just blah.
5
Idaho doesn't exist
Haven't you heard this before? Idaho is just a myth. Nobody "knows" anyone from Idaho. The entire state is a conspiracy theory so you really shouldn't even bother trying to find it. It's nowhere. And if Idaho doesn't exist, Twin Falls definitely doesn't exist.
6
The people are the worst
They never do charity events like Back The Blue, Walk a Mile In Her Shoes, they never band together to help families out who are in need like Idaho Angels or Valley House, they definitely don't show up to your door when you are a new neighbor with freshly made cookies. No one says high to you in the street or strikes up random conversation. The worst.
7
Twin Falls residents are unpatriotic
They hate the Constitution, they definitely don't have an American Flag flying at almost every house, they definitely don't take advantage of their 2nd Amendment rights or anything American.
8
Nothing grows here
It is a desert, crops don't grow here. There are no potatoes, lentils, sugar beets or hops. People can't garden because the ground is evil. It wants to kill everything. Don't put your foot underground. It might try to eat you too.

If that doesn't convince you I am not sure what will. Share with your friends or non friends. Let them know that this isn't the place for them.

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Categories: Lifestyle, Magic Valley News, Twin Falls Life, Twin Falls News