What would you do? What would you do if you had to decide between attending the funeral of a family member, a friend, or someone you were close with, or attending the birth of your child? Do you attempt to do both? Do you attend the funeral and take the chance of missing your child, or do you stay for your child, and deal with the guilt of missing out on a funeral? Does it matter who the funeral is for? Does distance play a factor? There can be many reasons to justify your choosing and many factors to take into consideration, but if forced to choose between the two what would you do?

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Credit: Leah-Anne Thompson
Credit: Leah-Anne Thompson

When someone you love or enjoy passes, it is often hard to cope with the loss, which is why attending the funeral can at times help with closure. It pays respect, honors their life, and sometimes helps those left here to cope and accept the death, with closure. If you lose a parent, a sibling, a spouse, or a child, attending a funeral can be even tougher to stomach, but you won't miss it. What if when the time comes though, you are due to deliver soon or your spouse or significant other is? Would you choose to miss the funeral of someone important in your life to deliver your child or be there for your significant other, or would you risk it? It is a dilemma that nobody would like to be in, but if you do find yourself in this situation, how do you handle it, and what do you take into account to make your final decision? These are both major moments in your life and you should attend both, but when you can't what do you do?  

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There are certain funerals you can't miss. You can't miss one for your parents, as you likely will play a hand in the decision making. You can't miss one for your spouse, because you will be in charge of the decisions, but if you are expecting this would be a more terrible loss than normal. You can't miss the funeral of a child, which would make it tough as well, with another soon coming. As a dad, it is a tough choice, because your wife is unlikely to travel to support you, and the thought of missing your child is hard to bear. It can rip a dad in half to need to choose. For a mom, the travel might not be possible, unless the funeral is close, and perhaps you can put off delivery a day or two. Often, doctors will make these tough choices easier for you on travel restrictions, but dads, have to determine where they want to be and what they have to do. 

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While not in this exact situation, I recently had to think about this becoming a reality. My mom recently passed from cancer, and I was away from my family for an extended period, while my wife was at home pregnant. While not near delivery time, as many know things can happen at any moment, making it tough to be away. She was unable to travel, making it hard to not have my family there for support, but we managed and did what we thought was best considering the circumstances. If she had been 9 months pregnant, the decision would have been tougher. If you ever find yourself in that predicament, what would you do? 

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