What category matches you?

Ever watched NASCAR from Watkins Glen?  It's a jarring mess.  Growing up near the track, it was considered hallowed ground.  Then the Formula 1 style racing came to an end and there was a long racing drought at the famous venue.  Then NASCAR came along and revived the tradition.  But it’s clearly a different style.  Cars built for ovals are a lot more cumbersome on a road course. 

I used to think the placement of tire irons in the trunk was inconvenient.  Now I realize it’s a good thing.

It reminds me of my drive home from work.  I avoid Blue Lakes Boulevard whenever I can.  Just to break up the monotony, I alternate between Washington Street, Eastland, and Grandview Drives. The latter is the quietest but on summer days with windows down, I get dust clouds from all of the construction.  The other two streets are similar to racing at the Glen.  Obstructions, abrupt speed changes, and a share of drivers act like fools.

Watch Where You're Going

Tuesday I had a green light and pulled into an intersection when a driver coming in the other direction decided to make a left turn.  There were no green arrows.  Did I mention she was a woman?  She looked at me as if I had simply materialized out of thin air.

Women are Challenged Behind a Wheel

Women don’t like people criticizing their skills behind the wheel.  I’ll admit there are four kinds of drivers.  The D.W.O. is one group.  Cops tell me it stands for Driving While Old.  They shift lanes without looking over their shoulders.  Then there’s the guy with a jacked-up and noisy truck.  He’s between 18 and 35.  He roars by you over the speed limit and then you catch him at the next light.  He’s compensating for something!

Women are a category and if they also fall into DWO, they drive from seven to 15 miles below the speed limit.  The younger ones simply drive while yapping on their telephones.  Often behind the wheel of a Suburban or Expedition, they appear to lack peripheral vision.

Normal People Share Language Issues

I’m a member of category four.

We’re the normal drivers.  We’re essentially good people until you cut us off.  Then we speak in tongues.  Really naughty tongues but you can’t hear us because your music is too dang loud.

I used to think the placement of tire irons in the trunk was inconvenient.  Now I realize it’s a good thing.  By the time you retrieve it, you’ve had time to cool down!

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