Traditions can be a wonderful thing that binds families and cultures together. It can also be a horrifying nightmare that can tear a neighborhood and friendships apart. Something that had never happened to me before I moved to Idaho is a terrifying yearly occurrence here in Twin Falls. I speak of ‘Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day’.

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I had never encountered anything like this when I lived in New Mexico. I moved to Idaho, and the world turned on its axis. My doorstep became a torture device contaminated with the stuff of nightmares. It all began when I left my car door unlocked while I attended church. One would consider church to be a safe place, but my sense of security was shattered when I opened my car door to find gigantic zucchini laying in my driver’s seat MENACINGLY. After that, my front porch was vandalized by local produce since I learned to lock my car door at church.

Forget ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’. Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day is not science fiction, and it is here. Neighbors and friends are now suspects as they slink under the cover of walking the dog or watering flowers or distract you with a friendly wave as someone else plops a squash upon your unsuspecting welcome mat.

My 20th wedding anniversary should be a happy celebration, not a day of trepidation. Yet, here we are. Gazing upon the calendar, August 8th fills me with dread instead of joy. There is only so much zucchini bread a person can eat. The next holiday that should follow is ‘Take Zucchini Bread to Work Day’. Spread the love, reshare the vegetables, and make someone else eat the zucchini.

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