Toys used to be made better. Original Lawn Darts were outlawed but played better than the new Darwin survival-of-the-fittest free replacements. Gone are the good Little People with the sphere head and little oval body. Lincoln Logs have plastic parts. Now everything is plastic, unreliable, and unfixable.

Hungry Hippos is not nearly well made. The Lemon Twist had the perfect weight for skipping. Weeble Wobbles were just a little egg with a picture of someone or something inside. Sometimes it was right the 1st time. If it wasn’t broken, why did they change it?

It’s not just better-made toys we need to have back. Some things should have never gone away.

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Monster Cereals have been ruined. While Count Chocula has been unsullied, Boo Berry and Franken Berry have mixed the marshmallows. Re-segregate the marshmallows as breakfast intended. Rumors abound about a new Carmella Creeper brought in to make Monster Mash Remix Cereal. All the flavors in one bowl? Anarchy reigns. There may be a disturbingly short future for humanity as civilization breaks down after this.

Mountain Dew Game Fuel Mango Heat is something missed by studio staff that shall remain nameless. Specialty flavors that were so popular need not have been temporary. Why not make them seasonal?

When Tums introduced Smoothies, it was game-changing for heartburn sufferers. No longer did heartburn have to be coupled with broken teeth. Smoothies were available in all the same flavors as regular Tums and then suddenly they weren’t. Goodby peppermint flavored Smoothies Tums, life is heartsick with you not in it. Berry Fusion and Assorted Fruit can burn in the fires of Mordor that forged them.

Oompas is a candy made by Wonka and discontinued in 1983. There were fruit and peanut butter choices. It is a candy that has left this plane of existence but should be resurrected. Wonka isn’t even around anymore.

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Next will be drive-in theaters that are slowly trickling away. The opportunity to watch on the big screen while in the comfort and privacy of your own car is something beautiful and soon to be lost to everyone. Popcorn with a hint of bug spray and sitting in the bed of a truck with all the family or friends is something kids now will never experience. Their lives are lacking for it.

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