8 Ways To Piss Off A Southern Idahoan
Idahoans are generally incredibly friendly and accepting. They will greet you as their new neighbor with a batch of fresh baked cookies and a smile. But, if you ever feel like stirring the pot and getting them angry, here are the best ways to do that.
1.) Walk into a bar in Gooding and ask for a "gluten free" beer. Seriously, do they even make gluten free beer? Gluten and beer are both great, don't ruin it.
2.) Say you are lactose intolerant, especially to a dairy farmer. Do you know how much the dairy industry is contributing to our economy?! Psh, leave your intestinal issues at the door.
3.) Better yet, mix up a dairy and a beef cow when you are talking about one or the other. Come on, don't you know the difference? One makes delicious steak, the other delicious ice cream.
4.) Say you are a vegan because, "you can't befriend one animal and eat the other." Umm, yes you can. Especially since dogs are man's best friend and pigs are full of delicious bacon.
5.) Be anti-gun. Let me make this part clear. We don't mind if you refuse to use a gun because "guns kill people". That is your prerogative. Just don't try to take my guns away from me or lecture us about how bad they are.
6.) Say, "where I came from we did it like this..." This is a sure way to piss off an Idahoan. If you liked the way things were done where you came from why did you move? Don't try to make Idaho a second version of Nevada, California, Oregon (wherever you came from). This is Idaho, we like the way we do things.
7.) Tell us there is nothing to do here. Are you kidding?! Do you not go outside?! Hiking, biking, camping, fishing...that is just to name a few. Stop it.
8.) Bash a hunter. Let's clarify, hunters and poachers are completely different. Hunting is a great way to feed the family and fill a freezer, poaching and leaving the carcass is just a jerk move.
Now before anyone gets really upset, this is meant to be completely funny. Also, what kind of things did we miss?