Here Are the Latest Yellowstone Supervolcano Conspiracy Theories
Every now and then, I like to check in and find out how the Yellowstone supervolcano is gonna kill us. If you're curious, here are the latest theories making the rounds.
Before I get into the theories, let me state for the record that I realize that Yellowstone is a real danger. Someday, we might very well hear a big boom, see a flash of light and a big cloud to our east, then no more us. But, for now, there's nothing to report other than these juicy rumors.
Rumor #1 - Yellowstone is leaking helium
You know you're in for a good time when a YouTube video starts with a robot voice. This theory either means the helium release indicates the volcano is about to erupt or Yellowstone will suddenly start speaking in a high, squeaky voice. I hope it's that last one.
Rumor #2 - All the Idaho and Yellowstone earthquakes mean eruption is imminent
I'm gonna confess that the earthquakes near Soda Springs and closer to Yellowstone make me think the volcano is up to something. I also don't discount the fact that "the man" (meaning "the government") doesn't tell us everything. But, there's nothing right now to prove that earthquakes in that area mean we're gonna die - yet.
Rumor #3 - Yellowstone is about to be evacuated
My favorite quote from this one? "You gotta respect mother nature or she's gonna kick your a**". Other than that, this guy sounds kinda frightened, so I'm afraid to say anything too severe. My one piece of advice is to stop cussing. If the earthquake is about to end your life, you don't want to have your mouth saying things your momma told you not to say.
Rumor #4 - There's a giant crack near Yellowstone
The robot voice returns. My theory that this big crack in the ground is where the Skynet Terminators that do these videos are about to appear through.
The Yellowstone supervolcano is a real threat to our way of life someday. Some scientists have said recently that it could erupt sooner than we originally thought. But, until that happens, we can be entertained by the never-ending stream of theories about how the end will come.