Santa Better Be Ready To Deliver Lots Of Idaho Kids Toy Crappers

For the first time in the history of Christmas, kids across the planet will awake on December 25 and rush to the tree hoping for a very special toilet delivery from Santa Claus, and it ain't going to be a yule log. These toilets come with even BIGGER surprises inside!

I'll tell you what moms and dads, this Christmas is going to have a different kind of feel about it. We're going to witness something that has never happened in the history of the holiday. It's time to take those old visions of Christmas morning and flush them right down the crapper.

My son has been sleeping nightly with a plushie that is half toilet, and half Borat for five months now.

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Santa's load is going to be extra bulky this Christmas, and it has nothing to do with fiber. It's because he'll be hauling around millions of plastic-wrapped shi%$#*s measuring over a foot for tiny children to snuggle up to while they dunk cookies and drink cocoa on Christmas Day. Forget visions of sugar plums, this holiday will include visions of bowel movements.

The Skibidi Toilet craze has infected our darling little squirts! My son has been watching videos of toilets soaring across the sky being piloted by the heads of mustached, Middle Eastern-looking men for almost a year now. These toilets shoot rockets (not those rockets), launch bombs (not those bombs), and perform many other functions of war. If you adults think you've battled a toilet before, JUST YOU WAIT!

My son has been sleeping nightly with a plushie that is half toilet, and half Borat for five months now. If you haven't been exposed to the wonderful world of battling crappers yet, then man, are you in for a real treat. These new Mystery Surprise Toilet Gift Packs can be found at Walmart and retail for $44, and yes, my kid has asked Santa for one.

Scented air canisters not included.

(WARNING: Video includes toilets, war sequences, animated violence, and other stuff I'm still totally in the dark on)