Late in December a tooth on the bottom row of my mouth broke while eating Christmas candy. One minute I'm enjoying a Christmassy Milky Way, the next: SNAP! And then things went bad.

My toothache went from bad to worse when the tooth became infected around the root.That's called an Abscess and it hurts like heck.

Not only do you get to enjoy the sensation of a pounding toothache, but the infection around the root of your tooth has immediate access to some major blood vessels giving it the run of the place. I started to feel like I had the flu on top of the toothache.

Let me preface this article with this statement: I hate my teeth. I was born with weak enamel (which my son inherited as well--I'm sorry Jack), and the medications I take for my asthma basically obliterate my teeth. I'm constantly getting cavities fixed and work done on my ailing teeth. But, back to the story.

The St. Luke's Emergency Room put me on a course of Penicillin to take out the infection, and a regimen of Ibuprofen to ease the pain of the toothache. For a while it seemed to work, but then I ran out of antibiotics and Ibuprofen...

I can't recall being that sick in a long time. Over New Year's Eve I gradually became sicker and sicker until I was visibly shaking, vomiting, and in unspeakable pain. I didn't get out of bed until Wednesday when I could get into the dentist's office.

Once there a quick x-ray showed the real problem: it wasn't just one abscessed tooth, I had two. Good lord. Both teeth had to be extracted.

Well, the good news is that I'm starting to feel better. My dentist extracted two teeth and managed to get much of the infection out. The Penicillain is still working in my body and should nuke the rest of the infection, and the two gaping holes in my jaw are gradually starting to hurt less.

The moral of the story: Don't get abscesses kids. They hurt like hell.

Yep. Those are my teeth. I'm thinking of putting them on eBay. Heck, if people can sell "ghosts in jars" then I can sell my teeth.