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Terry Explains What Being “Corn Sharked” Means

I have such bad luck that I had to come up with a whole new way to describe how bad it is. I call it being “Corn Sharked.”

Allow me to explain. Here’s how bad my luck is: If I were standing in the middle of a corn field in southern Idaho, I would get bitten by a shark.

Make sense? Okay, here’s how the story would play out to make that happen:

An aquarium somewhere on the west coast has a sick Tiger Shark. In a last ditch effort to save the fish, they decide to risk everything and transport it via airplane to another aquarium somewhere who have had good success saving captive sharks. While loading the fish on the plane–in a giant tank–the loading bay door malfunctions (but no one notices). The plane with the shark takes off.

Meanwhile, in Southern Idaho, I run out of gas on the side of the road (of course). Deciding that it’s faster to cut across a nearby cornfield than staying on the road, I head off to get gas.

Somewhere above Southern Idaho there is a catastrophic failure with the plane’s loading bay door. Amidst a shower of sparks and smoke, the shark plummets toward the ground.

Directly at me. Standing in a corn field. In Southern Idaho. And bites me as we hit.

I know. It’s got a real “Sharknado” vibe to it, but that’s how my luck goes, and led me to coin the phrase “being Corn Sharked” when describing it, or something odd that has befallen me.

Do you have good or bad luck?

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