Sample-Size Me: The Same Tired New Years Resolutions For The MV

According to the same people that brought us the Steve Harvey cue card, guess what tops the list of 2018 New Years Resolutions for us average Americans. Was there ever any doubt?

Sample sizes don't necessarily represent my life. I have a tough time relating to the average person that gets stopped and questioned by pollsters outside of Starbucks.

I have children, a mountain of bills, a fatty liver (statistics say so), and a car that makes a new, horrific sound every time I start it. So, the idea that I should join a gym or devote more time to ME--where I'm completely unavailable to change my son's diapers, take and pick up my daughter from drama or start the next load of laundry--is about as realistic as whatever book JK Rowling decides to write next.

According to an article I found (take your pick) at top10richest, exercising once again nabs the top spot on America's 2018 resolution list. If you want to lose weight, then more power to you. By now, I think we all know that if we don't take care of our bodies, than it could result in a shorter lifespan. My weight has been fluctuating since my freshman year of high school, and I enjoy packing a few pounds on during the holidays; I usually attempt weight loss around March.

Others on the list include less social media, improving your financial status, stress less, smoking and drinking cessation and logging more sleep hours. Yea, that's happening. Some of my best work is done sleep-deprived, beer-in-hand, with five social media sites open on my phone, a blood pressure reading of 140/90 and the knowledge that I have $17 in my checking account.

Why would I willingly give that up? It's what drives me.

Can we stop already with New Years Resolution lists. We function how we function, and it's tough enough to find 15 minutes for ourselves most days, let alone fly to India and spend three months trying to rediscover ourselves.

YOU BE YOU. And in the immortal words of the 80s hip hop group Digital Underground, "Doowutchyalike."