Only Jerks Mow Grass at 6:00 AM
I thought I was a nice guy but after today’s conversation about mowing, I have learned otherwise.
Hello. My name is Brad Weiser and I’m a Jerk.
Let me first say, that I’m an early bird. It goes with working an early shift. I’m usually up with the sun.
Saturday is mowing day so it’s not unusual for me to hit the ground running and start mowing at six sharp. I like to get it out of the way.
Everyone who called the show this morning said that (while legal) it’s too early to mow and it’s very likely that all my neighbors hate me for it.
But before you pass judgment, your honor, please let me offer these two pieces of evidence in my defense.
1. Summer is hot. I don’t have time to mow in the evenings and it’s too hot to mow in the middle of the day.
2. Neighborhood know-it-alls. I live in a neighborhood full of retired people. Their yards all look FANTASIC! Seriously. You could golf on their grass and I’m jealous. The last thing I need is someone stopping by for a “visit” so they can show me how to edge. I work up to 60-a-week and I don’t care. Only common courtesy prevents me from letting the grass grow to three feet.
In interest of being a good neighbor, I ask: When is the earliest you can mow your grass without being “that guy?”