The 12 Most Secretly Sinister Pokemon
Pokemon may be a franchise built around collecting cute little pocket monsters, but it’s not without its dark side. What would you expect from video games that try to gloss over the fact that you’re enslaving hundreds of animals and forcing them into gladiatorial combat for your own depraved amusement? Like the series itself, many Pokemon have a strange darkness lurking just under the surface; once you start digging through the pokedex, you’ll find that plenty of those adorable animals have hidden horror to them, which is why we’ve put together this list of the 12 Most Secretly Sinister Pokemon.
Honedge may look like a cool, Sword of Omens-inspired sword pokemon, but it’s actually a ghost possessing a sword, and it drains the life force from anyone foolhardy enough to wield the cursed blade.
In the world of Pokemon, kids who get lost in the forest and die there turn into these ghostly stumps. Sooo, if you capture one you’re capturing the soul of not just a human being, but a human child. You monster.
This Purple Man wannabe enslaves the minds of others and forces them to do its bidding. It also likes the short-lived TV series ‘Greatest American Hero’ a disturbing amount.
Cacturnes might seem helpful when they appear to help light the way during a dark night in the desert. Really these fiends are waiting for you to get tired so they can set upon you when you least expect it.
Duskull loves crying children, and pursues its foes like a spectral terminator, passing unerringly through walls to get what it wants. It’s even said that they whisk away naughty children… probably leaving them lost in the forest to become Phantumps.
Another child-thief, this guy pretends to be a balloon so it can snag kids and fly away with them. And why the hell does it have Xs over its mouth? Vow of silence? Fetishwear? Is it trying to live the adage “speak no evil?”
Cubone wears the skull of its deceased mother as a headpiece. That’s all that needs said about it, really.
You know that creepy real-life fungus that can infest an ant’s brain and possess its body? Naughty Dog made a whole game about it bringing the apocalypse. Parasect is the Pokemon equivalent, which easily netted it a spot on this list of the Most Secretly Sinister Pokemon.
Drowzee looks like a pedophile anteater, and eats the dreams of children because they’re “so much tastier than adults.” That could be interpreted as either sweet, seeing as how children are more pure of heart than we, sullied adults, or that could be interpreted as really damn creepy. Yeah, we’re gonna go with creepy.
It should be no surprise that the evolved form of Drowzee likes to steal kids — just look what it evolved out of! We don’t know what kinds of hobbies this master of hypnosis has, but judging by the lecherous look on its face, we’re guessing they’re pretty unsavory.
Remember when Brad Pitt wouldn’t stop asking, “What’s in the box?!?” at the end of ‘Se7en’? When it comes to Cofagrigus, believe us when we say you don’t want to know.
Honestly, Gengars are pretty awesome. They like to charge around, pretending to be people’s shadows, and giggling away while people get freaked out. They’re all about spookin’ people, but they never do any real harm. If they tried hard enough, they could probably become quite the Youtube sensations, which is why they’re number one on our list of the Most Secretly Sinister Pokemon.