Recently I colored my hair and it fried it. In order to fix my hair I went to the beauty supply shop and asked if they had any reconstructing shampoo and conditioner. They recommended a product that has a special kind of apple in it that can apparently heal itself when it becomes bruised from being dropped. 

The mad hair scientist did some testing with apple stem cell technology and put the apple in the shampoo and conditoner so that your hair will become repaired just like the apple. I, being the brillant person that I am, paid way to much for the shampoo and left feeling like I was a hair wash away from being closer to nature with my special apple infused hair products.

After I read the bottle I came to my senses and realized that I was probably just sucked into a big marketing scam and there was no way apples could heal themselves. I have been wrong about things before so I will ask you.