There are some who believe that there is a super group of fast food marketing masterminds residing deep beneath the lowest secret level of the Pentagon conspiring to develop more sophisticated methods of selling garbage to the American public.
Just short of playing Russian roulette at the breakfast table, the consensus seems to be that we are all doomed without a doubt, as the latest chapter of the great American death machine has just revealed that eating egg yolk may be just as bad as smoking cigarettes.
So what in the name of Joe Camel is going on here?
Most of us have had shopping experiences at major sales events that would have been emotionally easier to handle with a steady Thorazine drip being administered in a padded room somewhere underneath the mall.
The safety of police cruisers all across the United States and Canada are now in question, as General Motors announced that it is recalling more than 38,000 Chevrolet Impala police vehicles because of suspension issues in the front end that could lead to an a accident.
There must be something about the new car smell that attracts thieves, as recent FBI statistics report that nearly 800,000 motor vehicles were stolen in the United States in 2009 — representing a nationwide loss of $5.2 billion.
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