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50 Amusing First World Problems

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Here are 50 amusing First World Problems (via @FiWoProblems)

  1. My bathtub isn’t big or deep enough to float in.
  2. I can’t use the touchscreen on my phone while I’m wearing my winter gloves.
  3. My car is too new to use a cassette adapter but too old to have a direct MP3 connector and FM transmitters suck anywhere near civilization.
  4. My pockets aren’t deep enough for my Galaxy S III.
  5. Screen protector air bubbles.
  6. All the relatives that used to give me money on Christmas are dead.
  7. I didn’t push the car window button hard enough, so it didn’t roll down automatically and I had to push it again.
  8. I shared my Netflix password with a friend. He’s ruining my suggestions with his poor taste.
  9. All my friends set their profile pictures to a photo of their kid and now it looks like I’m friends with a bunch of toddlers.
  10. I panicked when I couldn’t find my keys after dinner, having forgotten that I’d left them with the valet.
  11. I’ll probably never get to ride a giant tortoise.
  12. My child’s expensive electronic toy kept waking me up with occasional requests to play, but I was too lazy to get out of bed and turn it off
  13. My dog is at the groomers and I dropped food on the floor. Now I have to bend down and pick it up.
  14. Both TV shows that I’m watching are on commercial break.
  15. The pizza box will not fit in my fridge.
  16. I keep getting touched inappropriately by my shower curtain.
  17. I look good in glasses, but I don’t need them.
  18. My new reclining couch won’t recline all the way because my other recliner is in the way.
  19. I had a funny comment to say, but somebody changed the topic to something else and my comment would not have been suitable anymore.
  20. I want to be successful but I don’t want to do any work.
  21. I have enough money to buy all the new video games I want, but not enough time to enjoy them.
  22. I had to drop one of my college courses because of the uncomfortable chairs.
  23. My new smartphone is much lighter than my old phone. So now at least once a day I do a panicked pat of my pocket thinking I lost my phone.
  24. I forgot to charge my iPhone last night because my iPad was charging. Now I have to ration my battery like a 3rd world child rationing food.
  25. I really want breakfast, but I slept in so late that nobody is serving it.
  26. I want to eat some snacks while I watch a movie but I’m still too full from dinner.
  27. My hair is so lustrous that women constantly want to touch it with their greasy hands.
  28. I won an iPad. Now all my friends are calling me an Apple fanboy.
  29. I have free tickets to a thing I don’t feel like going to.
  30. When daylight saving time ends, I must must push the “H” button on my car clock 11 times! God help the poor bastards with a 24 hour clock.
  31. My frying pan isn’t big enough to cook all my desired bacon at once.
  32. The seam on my Hot Pocket split.
  33. I have a really nice house, so trick-or-treaters generally expect me to buy more expensive candy.
  34. My 9-5 job is located due east of my home, so for both directions of my commute, the sun is in my eyes.
  35. I want to go outside, but I don’t want to put a bra on.
  36. I hate my job, but not enough to really try to find a new one.
  37. The 72 inch HDTV in my new home theater is built into the wall, so I can’t show people how thin it is.
  38. My soup bowl is too big and my spoon keeps falling in.
  39. I have to get out of bed so I can get ready for bed.
  40. I’m never gonna be rich enough to have a house with secret passages.
  41. I have too many chips for my dip, but if I open another dip, I’ll have too much dip for my chips.
  42. I can’t make my coffee until I’ve had my coffee.
  43. The scroll wheel on my mouse is broken, so I have to click and drag the sidebar like an animal.
  44. I’ve become so efficient at browsing the internet that I can’t waste as much time on it as I used to.
  45. My phone internet is faster than my home internet.
  46. The notch on my belt is too tight and the next one down is too loose.
  47. The last bite of my sandwich was mostly bread.
  48. I pulled the entire onion out of my onion ring on the first bite.
  49. When I set my alarm, Android tells me how little sleep I can look forward to.
  50. I’d like to date Taylor Swift but am afraid of the embarrassing song she’d write about our eventual breakup.

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